I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
