3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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