I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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