***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
