was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
