I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
