roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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