I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
