he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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