Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
the raccoons are back...
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