I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
birth control should be required to get into college
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
