problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
