Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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