Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
handjob tips. give me some.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
