guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
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long story
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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