you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
