god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
So much Jack, so little girl.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
