You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
