I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
