I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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