I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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