Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
