You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
