I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
