Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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