So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just want to make out with him forever
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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