Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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