This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Randomize
