Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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