I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
