Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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