i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
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