Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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