shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
