On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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