we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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