That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Randomize
