Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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