I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
