Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Randomize