Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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