Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Randomize
