but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
