do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
