careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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