i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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