How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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