I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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