What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
