So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
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