but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
