I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
