it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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