But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
