yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
