it wasn't lemon gatorade
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
