fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
